A Life Update // Prayer Request
AHH it has been so long and while I don’t know every single one of my blog readers personally, I still feel like for the sake of my enneagram 2 personality; I can’t leave y’all out.
Is that weird? Maybe. Oops.
It has been a looooooong hot minute since I just wrote about my life. Which when I say that, I’d be lying if I said that was because I feel like the last thing y’all want to read about is what’s going on with me… but that insecurity is overshadowed by the reality that this is how and why I started my blog;
To be real. To share vulnerably. So that’s what I’m gonna do!
The second I started worrying about the traffic a post was gonna get, or stressed over the trendiness of a topic, is the second I stopped blogging as much because the focus was shifted, and believe it or not, I actually enjoy writing, so who cares if no one but my mama reads my blogs?
However, funny enough, a life update post has been the most requested blog post for like a solid 6 months. And I’ve just procrastinated and honestly don’t know that I could ever update y’all in one blog but if you know me at all, you know thats not gonna stop me from trying!!
So, friends, HI! I’ve missed ya. Genuinely, I really do miss when I don’t blog, but as soon as I resist the desire to sit down and blog once, it gets easier and easier to let weeks/months go by.
Well, I just finished my first year of college… yeah I know. Crazy. I didn’t take a full load this year because I have had some crazy health things going on, which I’ll expand on in a minute. Currently I am taking classes online during the summer so I will still be where I should be academically after a year of classes.
But that was so hard for me; to not take a full load despite what was best for me. You don’t hear of many parents encouraging their child to take a semester off, but mine were! I had been struggling with my health for a while and I knew it wasn’t a healthy decision to take a full load this past spring, but my persistent, stubborn, always been ahead of the academic game, persona had a reaaaal hard time putting my health first, if it meant I would be behind. It was humbling to say the least, and definitely goes to show that again, my “2” personality is often apt to put my well being last.
Its been C R A Z Y to go to my friends graduation parties recently with the thought of “that was supposed to be me now” in the back of my head. Just proves even more in my life that Jesus tends to have better and DIFFERENT plans than we do. :)
Other than my first year of college ending, it also has been 7 months since my book released… which is absolutely insane to me. I wanna do it all over again!!! Also, shameless plug, if you haven’t read it yet for whatever reason, you totally should grab it! Its on sale right now!!
Mkay now that thats out of the way, let’s talk about some health stuff. So, if you’re familiar with my story at all, you know that in late 2015 I started experiencing some pain and other symptoms leading me to be diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. Now, those symptoms never really ceased and my body still hasn't had a normal cycle in forever. But despite the heavy periods and cramps, nothing else was detrimental so we didn't look into it much. However the last 7-8 months, I have had some crazy issues with my weight fluctuating, and also some extremely severe, consistent pelvic pain. Like bed ridden 2-3 days because of how bad it was. We went to see my GYN about the pain and with all of my symptoms (some I won’t get into), it all pointed to endometriosis. Now, endometriosis is an incurable medical diagnosis where the endometrial tissue that every woman has inside their uterus, starts growing outside of the uterus, causing lesions and scars resulting in severe pain. Endometriosis is a tough illness to deal with because from the outside, its invisible, and its also not curable. My doctor gave me 3 options: get pregnant (lol), have a hysterectomy (AS IF), or we could try to ease the pain with an injection that would shut my reproductive system down for 3 months, putting me into medically induced menopause.
Now, let me state the obvious here and make you aware of the fact that just me having to even go to a GYN at my age is traumatic, much less sit across from the doctor as a 17 year old, and being told that this pain could be eased by getting rid of my reproductive organs and all we can do other than that is give you an injection that will make you feel horrible for 3 months, and that might not even help.
With that being said, I had to do something about the pain, so we did the injection of course. This injection, like I said, shut down my reproductive system completely, putting me in medically induced menopause.
Y’ALL. IT. WAS. MISERABLE.
I went to Nashville the week of Christmas and it was 30 degrees but I was shedding layers and sweating… It was crazy.
But the pain was gone. So I was stuck on what to do.
My GYN said, well, since you didn’t do well with the full injection, lets try a lesser dose of hormones and see if that maintains the pain…
Nope. I was in pain for the following 4 months. At this point, I am done. So over being in pain, and being restricted to a heating pad in bed.
There is ONE other thing that some women get done for endometriosis, and thats a laparoscopy procedure. My doctor had to have her arm and leg twisted to say yes to doing this for me but we fought for months. And we finally got her to schedule it.
This procedure is done by having an incision made under my belly button, while they maneuver my reproductive organs and surrounding organs to see if they can go in, and make two more incisions to the side, and use ablation (burn), any endometrial lesions or scar tissue that may help with my pain for a year or two. The reason this surgery is a last resort, is because some endometriosis grows on places like the bowel, or colon, where they can’t safely burn the tissue, so even if they go in and see it, they may have opened me up for no reason. And since there’s no guarantee that they will be able to remove any of it, and because possible risks of doing the surgery and going under (anesthesia) may outweigh that for some people, doctors don’t willingly offer it normally, but I was determined because for me, I’m just ready to not be in pain!!
So, my friends, A LOT has been going on with me, and tomorrow morning, your prayers are coveted for not only the surgery to go well, but for peace, not too much pain, and for the doctors operating. ALSO, for healing, because my God is able, and I come expectant to His feet, believing huge things. He is so faithful. And even if this isn’t the answer, its a part of the story being written divinely by Him, and He is still good and faithful today, yesterday, and forever.
I will for sure update y’all a little while after the surgery once I’m ya know… competent enough… :) but, until then…
Know that I believe in you! I am cheering you on! And you are SO SO LOVED, VALUED, AND CHERISHED.